|everything's making me think...
||[Jun. 8th, 2004|10:48 am]
wh0's y0ur party girl?
|||||typing on the keyboards||]|
i think way too much. and i really really need to stop it.
because last night i was thinking on how kenny didnt really seem to "uhh" about us today? i was like well maybe its cuz we dont see eachother. or maybe cuz he likes someone eles. then i think no he loves me. then comes wat if hes lost the love for me. what if he thinks im "cheating" on him. and blah blah blah.
i need to stop thinking.
because all it seems to do is hurt. hurt worse.
and on top of that. im starting to like someone. i dont know yet though. im not sure. and im not going to say who. but if kenny keeps playing these we cant date games. i am obviously going to start to like someone else. and want to date someone else.
not that i want to. but. im done with the games. im sick of them, all they do is hurt me, and give him an advantage. but im not ready to let go just yet. i cant. and i wont. i refuse.
im so confused.
and now that i want to start on some big-girl drugs. its been confermted- i smoked a 51-er the other day. o well it was a good trip. and i really am getting sick of the stupid shit like weed and little gay pills like vikadin. cuz that shits retarted.
i dont know
if kenny ever read this i would want him to know at this point in time that i love him. and that i cant go on like this. i cant wait 4 weeks. it just aint workin for me..
i love you baby, you mean everything to me. i wish i could tell him everything i need to. and i will. tonite. i love it. ill tell him to come over. and we will sit on my front porch just like last time but this time i will be the one talking.
my spotlight. i love it.